Most of us would like to believe that if we encountered a controlling person, we’d be able to recognize them.
We don’t believe we’d ever get associated with someone who would aim to exploit and mistreat us.
Controlling people, more often than not, has been that way for a long time, and they may have learned from someone who was really effective at it, so they’re very excellent at covering up their behaviour.
Some gain influence in a stealthy way, gradually winning a few inches here and there by the power of persuasion.
Others are so good that they make you believe you’re the one who’s broken and they’re fixing or helping you.
A dominating person can, of course, be more outspoken. However, there’s a considerable probability that their power grabs will be underhanded and difficult to detect.
“Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom”
It might be difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is very controlling. Your mental health suffers as a result of the frequent criticisms, spying, and gaslighting.
So, if you’re wondering how to deal with a controlling partner, we’ve put up a list of 10 suggestions:
Tips to Deal with a Controlling Partner
Keep Calm
Arguing is a natural reaction for many people when their partner is domineering.
Unfortunately, a controlling individual is unlikely to submit and give you the upper hand in an argument.
Instead of confronting him, kindly inquire whether he has considered your viewpoint.
If you treat your partner the way they treat you, you might expect a negative reaction. Be the bigger person in this situation.
Ask Open Ended Questions
The majority of these oppressors are completely unaware that they are oppressing others.
It’s just a coping method for them. If you’re unsure how to handle them, speak with them directly.
Ask them what their greatest fear is if others don’t do, behave, or live according to their wishes, or if the world doesn’t move the way they want it to.
This will actually benefit them by bringing their attention to the source of their problem.
Don’t Allow Yourself to be Isolated
Many domineering partners isolate their other-half by dictating their schedules or forbidding them from socialising with their peers.
If this is the case, you must speak up for yourself and let your husband know that you will not allow your other relationships to suffer.
You have the right to alone time as well, so let your spouse know if you need time to explore your own interests or simply be alone.
It might be easier if you encourage your partner to take up activities.
Make the most of your time together by engaging in enjoyable activities.
Avoid Internalizing Criticism
If your controlling partner constantly criticises you, you may begin to believe that you did something to deserve the criticism.
Internalizing criticism can lead to a lack of confidence in one’s own ability.
If this has happened to you, remind yourself of the goals you once desired and ignore any negative beliefs about your talents that your spouse may have implanted in your mind.
It’s critical to remind yourself that you are deserving of the finest and to take little steps toward your objectives.
Stay True to Your Beliefs
Many dominating spouses impose their will on their partners by instructing them what to think or what ideals they should have.
If you have beliefs and perspectives that differ from your spouse’s, it is critical that you assert your right to hold them.
For instance, maintain your freedom by attending services on your own or with family members if you practise a different faith than your spouse.
Set Boundaries
Tell them that there will be certain non-negotiable issues in the relationship once you’ve made them aware of their behaviour, where it comes from, and most importantly, what it causes to you.
If you have proven indicators of a dominating relationship, you must summon the guts to take charge of the situation.
When a controlling partner becomes controlling, they are typically unaware of it.
It has to be a method through which they have managed to stay alive for so long.
As a result, that is their natural state of being.
Figure Out the Causes Behind this Behaviour
To deal with a controlling partner, you must first understand what makes someone controllable in the first place.
- What was his upbringing like?
- Was it a traumatic experience?
- Were his parents tyrannical?
The first step in coping with a domineering partner is to figure out what’s causing him to act this way.
With love and understanding, you might be able to persuade him to relinquish his power.
Stay Close to your Family
Don’t quit seeing your best friend, no matter how much your husband despises her.
Visit your mother, even if he becomes enraged.
Allowing him to alienate you from the people who have always been there for you is not a good idea.
You must surround oneself with individuals who are optimistic. Justify why you need to see your girlfriends on a regular basis.
Don’t Hesitate in asking for Help
Abuse does not have to be physical in order to be considered abusive.
It can also be verbal, mental, or psychological.
Make it clear to him that any form of abuse will not be tolerated.
If he refuses to listen to you and becomes violent, inform your friends and family. Keep an eye out and don’t let your overbearing partner walk all over you, even if he vows not to do it again.
Be Willing to Walk Away
Controlling conduct can sometimes be remedied and mutual respect can take its place, but it’s crucial to note that this is not always the case.
Certain behaviours should not be accepted under any circumstances.
If your partner abuses you physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually, the best solution is to end the relationship.
Because a controlling person is often unchangeable, you must be willing to exit the connection if it is causing you pain.
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