Many young individuals will face this circumstance at some point in their lives: All of your friends and acquaintances seem to be getting married, and you’re still stumped as to how to look like a big child during their weddings.
If you’re feeling a little out of the loop when it comes to marriage, you’re not alone.
We’re getting married at an older age on average, indicating that even if we like the notion of marriage, we’re not in any hurry to go down the aisle.
Bella DePaulo, a researcher addressing the American Psychological Association’s annual convention, said she had examined more than 800 scholarly studies on single people published in the last 30 years. Single people have a higher feeling of self-determination than married people, according to study, and they are more likely to experience “continuous growth and development” as a person.
According to research by the National Marriage Project,
an increasing number of young individuals today are delaying marriage because they view it as a capstone to completing one’s life goals, both professional and personal.
And it’s not just the younger generations who are single. The number of couples in their 50s who live together but are not married has increased.
They don’t want to marry since it would mean losing their Social Security or pension, so they stick with simple love and no paperwork.
It’s fine, and in some situations even good, to never marry, whether you’re young or old.
Here are several compelling reasons why remaining single could benefit you financially, mentally, and physically.
More focus on your career
Some people are more career-oriented than others.
Marriage and long-term committed relationships can take a lot of time and energy, and some people don’t want to split their time and focus between work and romance.
This isn’t to argue that working and getting married are necessarily mutually exclusive pursuits; some people prioritize one over the other.
A preference for non-monogamy
Marriage is frequently associated with monogamy, a relationship in which emotional and physical intimacy is limited to two persons, according to both written and unwritten expectations.
However, non-monogamous partnerships, such as polyamory and open relationships, are becoming more accepted and practised.
These relationships have different boundaries depending on who is involved, but they all allow for consenting emotional and/or sexual connection with numerous partners.
The ability to give and receive love and emotional energy to more than one person is emphasised in these partnerships, which is not reflected in our contemporary notion of marriage.
The institution of marriage has a long history of heteropatriarchy, with women being viewed as property of their fathers or families, to be given away in exchange for wealth, alliances, and position.
Women went from being her father’s property to being her husband’s property after marriage.
Even modern weddings are influenced by patriarchal traditions, such as the father giving the bride away, the wife taking the husband’s surname, and marriage being seen as a sign of female achievement.
For some people, marriage is unpleasant because of their difficult past.
Marriage presents a slew of financial problems
Weddings are costly, and divorce is even more so.
Some people just cannot afford the significant financial risk that marriage entails.
Some people are also hesitant to attach their finances to another person for a variety of reasons, including credit, tax considerations, and other worries.
Due to financial constraints, more older individuals are opting to live together rather than marry.
Some jurisdictions have rules requiring spouses to be accountable for their spouse’s debt, which for the elderly might imply a slew of costly medical expenses.
Marriage comes with too many rules and expectations
People may be hesitant to marry because of the expectations that come with marriage.
There are certain outdated and negative stereotypes associated with marriage, such as your sex life deteriorating or your freedom being restricted.
Given the popularity of bachelor and bachelorette parties, some may believe that the fun and games stop after you tie the knot.
Getting married can put your friendships at risk
While this is certainly more true for persons who have predominantly single acquaintances, many people report that their friendships suffer once they marry.
After getting married, most people lose at least one close buddy, as a husband or wife replaces that function.
When someone spends every waking hour with their spouse, they may ignore their other relationships.
Marriage can lead to the risky habit of relying on one individual for every emotional need
Many married couples make the blunder of making their spouse their “Sex and Everything Else Partner.”
They go to them for “companionship, intimacy, care, friendship, counsel, the sharing of household and family responsibilities and funds, and just about everything else.
This results in an unrealistic “culture fantasy,” which leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction.
“Consider all of the popular songs that include phrases like “you are my everything.” The dangers of placing all of your relationship capital into one asset; your partner is underappreciated.”
A happy marriage requires a serious commitment of time and energy that can be hard to maintain
According to sociologists Jeffrey Dew and W. Bradford Wilcox, married couples who spend time alone together at least once a week conversing or performing an activity together are 3.5 times more likely to be happy than those who do not.
According to the study, time spent with each other’s spouse decreased from 35 to 26 hours per week among married couples without children.
Much of this was due to each individual’s necessity (or desire) to work longer hours.
The reality that healthy marriages take more time and effort than ever before is further evidenced by the disparity in divorce rates between wealthy and less wealthy spouses.
Civil union or a domestic partnership
You can always enter a civil union or a domestic partnership if you want to form a meaningful (and official) tie with your significant other but don’t like the notion or practise of marriage.
The beauty of a civil union or domestic partnership is that it allows straight and homosexual couples to enjoy the same benefits as conventionally married couples without having to marry, which some may find “patriarchal” and “anachronistic.”
Civil unions could be extremely beneficial to senior citizens. They can keep their survivor’s payments from Social Security or pension benefits by opting into a civil union rather than remarrying.